Azgeda's war
by AtlasNomad
Summary: Lexa and Clarke are together but Azgeda is angry. Skai kru is angry. the 12 clans question their commander. Azgeda starts a war that even the strongest of loves would be tested by.
1. Chapter 1

Clarke was lying in the bed of furs, her mind of far in the clouds. The thoughts of leaving Polis tormenting her and creating an inward war inside her head. She knew deep down what was right but as she looked down at the commander of 12 clans, an invisible string was tugging at her heart. Even though Lexa was two years her senior, lying their in her arms, she had never looked so young nor so vulnerable. She looked so beautifully human, like all the worries of her people, were for once, not in the room with her. At this moment she was just Lexa from Triku. Lost in admiration, Clarke mindlessly started gently tracing the brunettes angelic features. Ghosting over her jaw and across to her lips, she wanted to memorise every inch of her.

"mmm that is very calming" the commander sighed deeply and reluctantly opened her eyes, to reveal the sky filled eyes of wanheda.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you" an involuntary grin toyed at the edges of her mouth. Clarke wanted nothing more than Lexa awake, looking at her. Her eyes were what Clarke always imagined the ground to be. A deep moss green with flecks of gold, representing the sun shinning through a canopy of trees. She felt as though she had always known these eyes. As if every line of fate had brought her to be able to look upon them. The colours she had been using to paint the ground all these years were staring back at her, she knew she had really made it home.

"I wasn't sleeping, I was just listening to your heart beat. It reminds me of a song, from a life far gone, of peace." Lexa moved a strand of hair from Clarke face. "Clarke I..."

The blondes finger was on her lips silencing her mid sentence. "I have to go Lexa. I need to talk to my people. A leader must always be unselfish." Clarke watched as the words cut into lexa and as if a switched had been triggered, lexa was gone, the green of her eyes turned to black and the light specks completely erased. The youthful look of peace lost and the expression of Heda was in its place. "don't be mad at me Lexa, don't shut me out. I will always come back to you" her words sounded small like a plea for her to forgive her. She never wanted to hurt her.

Lexa got out of bed and put on a cloak, jaw still set firm. "It's fine Clarke, i understand. You must do whats right for your people, its why they listen to you. you always put them first" the last word sounded like poison, like it was meant to hurt Clarke back.

"you don't have to be this defensive Lexa, ok." Clarke to got up and wrapped a rug around herself. She walked over to the window where lexa now stood. "heey" the word was quiet, soft, a truce. "I don't want to do this, i don't want to leave you but I cant stay here while they could all get killed. They could try attack your people as well.."

"our people."

"I know"

"then why don't you just let them handle it. They could see you as talking to them to be hostile, what if something were to happ..." she turned away from Clarke not wanting to think the unimaginable.

"Heda..." Clarke walked up behind lexa and wrapped her arms around her middle, kissing her back in-between her shoulder blades. "I am going to be fine. We must put an end to this fighting. I know a lot of the people don't support pike. Octavia will be with me..."

"Octavia isn't a warrior!" lexa spun around to meet Clarkes eye. She could see lexa fighting between doing what was right for her people and wanting to protect Clarke.

The blonde brought their foreheads together and wrapped her hands behind the commanders neck. "what if you send 4 of your best warriors to ride with me? Say they are an embassy to make sure your commands are being followed but really they will be there to give you peace of mind."

"not just a pretty face are you wanheda" Lexa pulled back and gave a slight nod. "i am still not happy but I accept your terms. I'll send my four best warriors as an escort for you." At this Lexa seemed to relax a little but Clarke could see that the commander was far beyond her years in moments when she sacrificed her own happiness for that of others.

with this Clarke locked their lips together, which made lexas breath stop dead in her chest. She felt the commanders strong arms around her pulling her tighter into her body. All the passion of the kisses they would miss out on, while apart, all coursing into one. Every part of Clarke burned with fire from lexas energy pulsing through her, she swore to herself, their would be no force on earth that would stop her from coming home to this feeling. She pulled back, gasping for air "may we meet again, Heda"

"Ill miss you my Clarke kom skakru" with one final brush of their lips Clarke dressed and left the room, not looking back knowing if she did she wouldn't have the strength to leave.

As she reached her door at the end of the hallway Clarke was completely distracted. When she opened the door she was caught off guard at Titus standing in her room.

"titus what are.."

"Clarke you are a distraction, you are running everything Lexa has worked so hard and so long to build. She is losing her way, all to keep you happy. One person happy."

"she is not losing her way, she is moving forward, to a better.."

"there is nothing better about this. Blood must always have blood. When you leave here, you will never return."

"are you threatening me?"

"no. You are not in danger if you return, but lexa will be."

"I refuse your offer. I am wanheda and i don't not take orders from you, nor threats. I will tell lexa of this"

"be it on your head Clarke that i warned you. dark times will come if you return. With those words Titus left the room and slammed the door.

Clarke was confused and angry and tears of frustration filled her eyes. She lifted up the chair by her bed and threw it at the wall just as octavia and Indra walked into the room.

"What the hell are you doing" Octavia rushed over to grab clarkes wrists to contain her.

"everyone expects so much from me all the time, its all about people telling me what to do or telling me to fix things" she pulled away from octavia and grabbed her things.

"a warrior Clarke cant show emotion like this, it is weakness and will be used against you. you are wanheda, you need to live up to the name, now come we need to get on the road before nightfall"

"Indras right. Come on" both warriors left as Clarke followed in suit.

They reached the market place where 4 heavy clad men awaited them with horses. As they all mounted Clarke looked around at the capitol, wondering how long it would be before she returned. Then out the corner of her eye she caught a red sash in the shadows. From under a hood she saw the eyes, she held most dear. Lexa had come to see her off. The little action filled Clarke with the strength she needed and the knowledge her head would be awaiting her when she returned. She gave one last long look at the commander as a horn sounded for the party of 7 to depart. It was time to return to skakru.


	2. Chapter 2

As Clarke rode with her escort, she couldn't help but feel a sense of dread following her. The woods outside of polis were eerie. The trees were old and ancient. The radiation exposure over the years had caused them to become misshapen and deformed. They looked alive, like old twisted souls with eyes that were watching Clarke as she rode. The leaves made no movement, nor a sound. It was like entering a tomb or trees, where Clarke was sure a lot of souls had been laid to rest. There was no breeze out here and the air was thick, almost suffocating the deeper they went into the forest. About an hour after the sun had set, they came into a small clearing amongst the trees.

"we will camp here for the night, Octavia, penn, you two have first watch. Make sure to tie the horse up and feed and water them" Indras voice was always so filled with hate. Years of training herself to feel no emotion had left her cold and hard. She scared Clarke but tonight she was thankful for her presence in this ghost filled forest.

Clarke laid down close to the fire, letting its warmth reassure her. As she looked up she hoped to see stars, the sight always a welcoming one. But here in this part of the woods there were no stars to be seen. The sky was an endless black sea nothing like she had ever seen. The great void above only adding to feeling that this place was cursed and she was not welcome. Finally She dosed off, with her thoughts on lexa back in Polis. She couldn't have been asleep for long, when she was woken by a blood freezing breeze that extinguished the fire instantly, plunging the clearing into utter darkness. Clarke sat up and drew her dagger, still groggy from sleep. She could hear the ominous howls of wind whipping through the trees. The once silence tree souls now bellowed deep, raging violently as if trying to rip out their own roots.

"Octavia.." she tried to call her name but it came out a whisper that even she struggled to hear. She rose to her feet slowly trying to get her bearings. Her heart was pounding in her chest, the thuds so loud in her ears it was almost drowning out the sound of the wind. Her breath was ragged and heavy, coming out in a white mist in front of her. The hairs of her arms raised, her instincts telling her to run. Then as if on command the trees fell silent. It was as if they were chanting and now the ritual had finished. The air froze as did time. Then she heard a laugh from in the distance, the sound was as if death himself had spoke. The laugh echoed off the darkness filling all the surrounding space and then as if on cue the fire sprang back to life, illuminating the scence around her. She gasped in shock at what lay before her.

Three of the escort warriors were lying face down in the leaves. Their throats having been blood now feeding the soil. Indra and Octavia were bound to one another both knocked out cold. At least they were alive. Clarke then looked around her, she was surrounded by twenty warriors all with masks covering their faces, all looking like demons in the night.

"what do you want? Why are you here" her voice was strong showing no hint of the fear she was feeling. She held her ground ready to fight.

"hahaha" the laugh came from the shadows. Clarke looked in the direction it came from as slowly a figure walked towards her." Clarke, Clarke, Clarke, always so reckless. Your life is in danger and you still think you have authority. Someone needs to teach you a lesson" Ontari walked into the light of the fire, the flames dancing in her black eyes. Her warrior eye makeup seemed to come alive, like shadows upon her face. In one swift movement she struck Clarke across the face, creating a deep gash across her cheek. Clarke stumbled back, taken completely unawares.

"Ontari, what. Why. King Ronan.." shock evident in her voice.

"Is dead!" ontari shrugged her shoulders as if this was a casual response about the weather.

"what." Confusion was setting in, how could this be. The last time she saw the king, they were on good terms. He had made peace with Lexa and had sent them the last mountain man in good faith. He couldn't be dead.

"Don't looked so surprised Clarke. He was a weak leader. He made peace with Lexa after she killed his mother, our queen. He should of retaliated. He should of won that single combat fight. How could we follow a leader who does not answer blood with blood. He had to be disposed of. I am now the queen of Azgeda" a cocky smile spread across her dark features.

"you. but don't they have. How"

" I am a queen now Clarke you should start addressing me as such and you ask to many questions for a prisoner"

"you are no queen, you are nothing but.." Ontari backhanded Clarke on the other side of her face.

"Manners now wanheda. My people want actions. So i will lead them and finally give my people the respect they deserve." She started to walk around the fire, looking deep into the flames as if they held answers. "Trikru has looked down on my people for far to long. The past 3 commanders have descended from them. They make alliances with the enemy, who slaughtered so many of our people. Lexa didn't attack the mountain men after all they did to her people. That is weakness. Now she will know what it is like to suffer" she paused briefly. "I know how close you two have become." She raised her head to look at Clarke. She cocked an eyebrow. " so Instead of me going to her I'll get her to come to me, because I have you" she drew out the last word. A slur. a smile spread all across ontaris features. The thought of war thrilled her. Killing was a natural thing to her. She had no conscious, nor guilt. Power was all she desired. It was all a game.

"Lexa will never fall for it. The armies of the reaming 11 clans will rally behind her." Clarkes voice shook.

"oh Clarke, you still don't see do you. Her armies are holding a blockade around your people. If she calls them off to attack me, they will rebel. How can they attack their own people, grounders of the coalition over skai kru who killed their people? She will have to kill all your people before she attacks me. Or call off the blockade and then your people will surely attack her armies. You see either way lexa will fall. And to think its all because of you"

As she let Ontari's words set in. She knew she was right. Lexa couldn't fight for just Clarke alone. Either all of Clarkes people would die or Lexa would be overthrown. The peace she thought was possible had now diminished. War was upon them and again Clarke felt responsible.

"Come now Clarke, its time you came to Azgeda." With these words a warrior from behind smacked Clarke knocking her out.

As the party rode off, the fourth warrior Lexa had sent with Clarke was hidden high up in the trees. He had not been spotted and thought wiser to stay out of sight. After waiting a few hours to be certain they had gone he climbed down and started running back towards polis. He had to tell the commander of the events.


	3. Chapter 3

As penn finally reached pollis he was exhausted. His legs barley holding him up but he knew he had to push himself. He reached the tower and told the guards he must speak with the commander this instant. The two on the door recognised him as one of the escort and agreed to take him up.

Lexa was in the throne room, all her ambassadors were around her talking about the blockade. Going over options if Clarkes proposition should fail.

"we should send in a small group of our best warriors, take this leader and make an example of him. The skai kru people must learn to obey as we all did" Reki from the shadow lands clan was a famous warrior and one of lexas closest confidents. He never went against her decisions, so this was one that obviously he held important.

"we must wait for wanheda to speak to them first. She has proved useful in this alliance" the ambassador of the lake people had been very favourable of Clarke. Lexa appreciated this but was very cautious of his support.

Lexa brought her hand up to her head. She had, had a constant headache since skai kru had killed her people. Only when she was with Clarke was her mind quiet. As she took a deep breath ready to address her ambassadors the doors to the throne room exploded open as penn came in and fell to his knees in front of the commander.

"Heda, I am sorry to intrude but..." lexa was up in an instant. In two long strides she reached the warrior and gestured for him to rise.

"Why are you not escorting wanheda to Arcadia? Have you disobeyed me." Anger flashed in the commanders eyes.

"No Heda." Penn hung his head low, not able to look into lexas eyes. "we umm we were attacked in the woods"

"Attacked?" shock clear in the commanders voice. "is cla... Is everyone ok, are they here?" penn looked nervously around. Wishing he wasn't the one to tell the commander what had happened.

"No heda. Three were killed and three were taken prisoner" as he said the words he saw the commanders eyes turn into that of an animal. A primal instinct was taking over, there was No white left in her eyes just black. Her jaw set firm and her face became that of a statue.

Lexa felt like she was breathing in knives. Her whole chest getting cut up from the inside. She wanted to scream to fall to her knees. She didn't want to be the commander in this moment. She wanted Clarke in the room with her. She should of never let her leave. She should of protected the younger all ounce of courage she could muster she spoke.

"which three" her voice was lower than a whisper. Her face so close to penns now he could almost feel the rage burning off of her.

"the escort you sent, commander. Indra, Octavia and wanheda were taken captives" lexa breath but only slightly. She turned away from the group giving herself a moment to collect her thoughts and try calm her rapidly beating heart.

"who took them?"

"Azgeda!"

The whole room froze. A deep tension filling the room. No one dared to breath, except Juan the ambassador from ice nation. A smile spread across his scared features. Lexa spun and looked at him. No one ever wanting to be one the receiving end of that glare. Juans smile faded, something dark appeared across the commanders face, the rage of all previous commanders obvious in her glare.

"come now commander, don't look so surprised. You have made alliances, you killed our queen yo..." Lexa had slit his throat before he finished his sentence.

"Heda" titus walked up to her. She turned on him and hit him hard across the cheek. No longer seeing reason. She was in penns face again

"tell me everything NOW!" lexa didn't move an inch from penns face as he retold the nights events. "and then they knocked wanheda out and took her back to azgeda"

"you hid the whole time while they took Clarke away?" her voice was deep and filled with pain.

"I..I. they would of killed me."

"you should of let them" lexa drew the dagger that was strapped to her leg and drove it deep into penns neck. All her anger boiling up, she was wild, the composed commander buried way down. She was not Heda in this moment, but Lexa who was reeling in angst from the news of her Clarke.

Lexa looked around the room all her ambassadors shying away from the beast standing in front of them. "CALL ALL THE ARMIES NOW! WE RIDE FOR AZGEDA NOW" she was breathing heavy. Her blood covered hands were shaking from rage.

"heda" titus fell to his knees in front of her, afraid of her wrath. "penn was right, we can't call off the blockade without a rebellion. We either must kill all skai kru or not react to Azgeda"

"AAARRRHHH" she threw her knife at the wall, feeling like a spring that had been push down for to long. She needed to pounce, to kill.

"REKI"

The shadow ambassador came forward and feel to his knees " yes commander" he dared not look into her eyes.

"your plan that was brought up before. Do it. Get some of your best warriors and get inside the walls. I want everyone last one of them captured. I want them all brought to pollis. Leave no one behind. Burn arcadia to the ground. If they can not abide by my laws then i will keep them close enough as to enforce them. kill any who try to fight against you. blood will have blood again."

There was a general murmured agreement amongst the leaders. Reki nodded and rose, he left the room needing no further instruction.

" send riders to prepare the armies. We ride for Azgeda. Any warriors who are in the city tell them to be ready at first light to ride. Now leave me" she sent them off with a wave of her hand.

They all bowed respectfully and left in quick haste. Titus stayed behind still keeling on the floor.

"titus, you leave me now as well and get these bodies out"

Lexa walked out to the balcony to look over the city She needed time alone to compose her thoughts. Her mind was a blur, a blackness of chaos. She thought back to when the ice nation had taken Costia from her and how events seemed to be repeating. She would not let Clarke meet the same fate. The pain in her chest had not subsided, she couldn't live without Clarke. This time Azgeda had gone to far. This time she would start a war for the girl she loved.

...

When Clarke finally came to, she found herself in a dark and damp four by four cell. There was a tiny window far up near the ceiling that let in barley any light. The room was like being in a freezer, the stone of the floor sucking away any body heat Clarke had left. Her ankle was chained to the wall and her head was pounding. When her eyes finally adjusted to the dim lights she saw Octavia and indra in two of the other corners both chained as well.

"Clarke, are you ok?" Octavias voice shook, she was clearly shaking for the cold.

"Yeah, I think so. How are you two?"

"This will be the end of the coalition . Lexa will start a war for you Clarke and we will all die in the process" indra looked away from Clarke poison clear in her voice

"I never asked for a war. I never asked her to put me ahead of her people"

"but she did!" she spat the words at Clarke. "you didn't see what happened last time Azgeda took someone close to the commander. She almost didn't recover. But she was a good leader and keep her life separate from that of her decisions. But with you. you are her weakness Clarke and everyone knows it." Indra sighed at leant her head back on the wall. "last time Heda was here, was to retrieve a body"

"What happened with Costia?" Clarke had always wondered about the other girl. Who she was how it affected lexa. But she could never bring it up with the commander knowing lexa would never open up.

Indra looked at Clarke and her eyes were sad. A deep sorrow in them. "Costia was the most beautiful human to walk these lands. No one who ever met her could hate her. She was a great warrior of course, but more than that she strived for peace. It was her idea to unite the 12 clans"

Clarke had never seen indra this soft before. This quite person who spoke nicely. Talking about it was really hurting her. "if you don't want to talk about her i understand"

"no you should no all of this. Costia had an infliction from the radiation, in a way. Her hair was silver, that shone like the sun." A slight smile rose at the corners of her mouth. "her eyes were the colour of ice. The coldest of blues almost white. She looked other worldly. She was pale and small. But boy did she have attitude. She stood strong for her beliefs and would tear anyone down who did not agree with her. I think thats why her and lexa bonded like they did. Those two were inseparable. They met just before lexa became commander. And costia told her of all her dreams of a united people. Lexa thought she was crazy, everyone thought she was speaking crazy. But then lexa became commander and The day lexa stood triumphant the world aliened and the power of those two together, well we all believed maybe we could all unite under one commander."

Clarke listened intently, wishing she could of seen lexa then but deep down she was feeling jealous of this girl that got to know lexa so well. She was jealous of a ghost.

"you should of seen lexa back then. She wasn't so cold. She was fearless. So young and resilient. So light and wild. Costia by her side she wanted to do her proud, so she started to unite the clans, all for costia.. But. Not everyone wanted to follow under trikru. One day ice nation snuck into polis and captured Costia." Indra looked directly at Clarke her eyes filled with the utmost pain. "They tortured her. The stories say you could hear her screams echoing off the ice. They wanted to know what powers the commander possessed to be able to get all the clans to listen to her. Wanted to know all of Heda's secrets. After two weeks of torture they sent Costicas head to the commander, placed it in her bed. The head was unrecognisable. So cut up and deformed. Only the silver hair gave her away. Lexa was young and still hadn't quite grasped the ability of commanding. Otherwise we would of gone to war. But on that day, lexa became a true leader. She learnt to put aside her feelings for the good of her people. She heald costicas vision of unity close, all she had left of the other girl so she fought hard for it. Which is why today we have united 12 clans. In a way costias death made that possible." Indra looked away clearly deep in thought

"I don't think the commander will risk losing that for me, Indra"

"Of course she will. You are her weakness in a way costia was not, but you give the commander more strength than she had ever had before. She wants more from this life now Clarke, the two of you together could create what she has been trying to accomplish all these years. The commander is far more powerful than before, this time she will destroy Azgeda"

Clarke was confused as to how she felt. She didn't want war, but she agreed with indra. There was no other way and the Lexa she knew would never just let Azgeda go easy .She looked over to Octavia who's mouth was slightly open. She shrugged at Clarke not knowing what to say to help the situation.

Clarke thought of her people, knowing now their fate was out of her hands and what she would do if she were in lexas position. If the situation was reversed and lexa was captive, Clarke would stop at nothing to free her. Clarke knew she would kill thousands of people for lexa. Clarke knew there was no hope for her people now.


	4. Chapter 4

There were 100 warriors left in Pollis. They all awaited the commander in the market place before the sun had yet to rise. A lot of the warriors were her personal guard, others old, others to young. The commander thought it better to only ride with 20 of the best. A smaller party would be harder for the scouts to spot and she needed to leave enough guards in Pollis in case of an attack or an uprising.

They rode hard through the morning and late into the afternoon before one of the guards asked for a break.

"Commander, we should rest, we have been riding all day. We should stop for food and water" all the Trikru warriors looked at him in disgust. It was a sign of weakness to ask for a break, it was also a sign of disrespect to question the commander. but he was from the sand lands. They were a softer kind of people not used to hardships or war. Without so much as looking at the man who spoke, Lexa drew her sword and with one swift motion, the mans fight was over.

"Anyone else need a break?" she looked at the other sand land warriors, sizing them up."..no.. didn't think so. We ride until we reach the outskirts of Azgeda. There we will split up. Three of my Trikru warriors will come with me the rest will set up camp and wait for the armies." Her tone harsh and demanded no questions.

Lexa could only think of getting to Clarke, she would kill all her warriors, their horses, anyone who tried to stop her getting to the ice nation. She had yet to sleep, every time she looked at her bed all she could see was Clarke lying there just a day past. She had never known happiness like she did in the moment she was lying in the arms of wanheda. Lexa went and flipped the mattress off its base and threw all the pillows and furs off the balcony, the memory now to tainted for her to be able to look upon her bed without wanting to scream. The night was going to slow, the commander cursed at the moon willing it to sink faster. She kept going over battle strategies and maps she had of Azgeda while pacing her room trying to distract herself.

At one point she had walked to Clarkes room, needing a break from the prison she had created in her own chambers. Entering the room was a bad idea. The blondes scent still lingered and the smell drove her wild. she had the overwhelming urge to ride out alone, slaughter all the villages in her path and burn Azgeda to the ground. She sat alone in Clarke room the remainder of the night. Even if Clarke wasn't in the room with her, it was something about Clarkes spirit that made the commander vulnerable. In the one place in Pollis that was Clarkes the commander allowed herself a temporary moment of weakness as hot tears sprang to her eyes. Only allowing herself to show emotion with Clarke, even if it was just in the other girls chambers.

Glancing over her warriors again, She kicked the sides of her horse hard sending it into a fast stride.

Azgeda resided amongst great mountains that were covered in snow and ice. The terrain was rocky, wild and almost uninhabitable. But the ice nation were a hard people, having lived in caves through a lot of the first years of radiation. They had seen beasts that no other clan could imagine. The ice held dark secrets and the Azgedians hearts were frozen and showed no mercy.

They called the homes in which the ice nation lived the ice dungeons. Great caves carved into the ice. Lexa had only visited the caves once, to retrieve Costias body. She had hardly remembered it, having locked the memory deep down. She was so young and broken. They told her they had already burnt Costias body, which was an insult. To go to the next life the body must be burnt complete and they burnt it without her head. Lexa had cried in her tent that night away from the eyes of her people. She swore to never cry again after that. The day she was broken, was the day she became a leader. She went to the queen the next day and offered her a place in the coalition proving she was stronger than they anticipated. She never let them see what they made her become. Coming back to the outskirts of the ice forests brought back all those memories. Lexa didn't know she had been harbouring this much hate and resentment. The coldness that had resided in her all these years had been the ice of Azgeda. But she realised Clarke was her fire. She had melted the coldest parts of her being and made her feel again. And she was feeling everything. A fire storm burnt inside her, keeping her warm and she vowed to burn this whole Forrest to the ground and make the entire ice nation feel her wrath.

They stopped on the outskirts of the frozen forests just as the last light of the sun had dispersed. The commander dismounted and looked over the scenery in front of her. "Dron, merk and tye you three will come with me now on foot. The rest of you wait here. Set up my tent and make it look like i am here awaiting the armies" Lexa shed her commanders gear and swapped it for rags she had brought along for this exact moment. They were going to sneak in, under the cover of darkness. She had studied the maps of this land and was certain she could find her way.

...

Clarkes whole body had gone numb from the cold of the cell. Her teeth were chattering and she had lost all feeling in her fingers. The sun had gone down plunging the whole cell into a eerie blue, blackness. Her stomach growled loudly, objecting not being fed. She felt weak and tired. She was getting ready to shut her eyes when, the door to the cell was opened and in walked two guards. They untied her and grabbed her under her arms dragging her away.

"wait, Clarke... Clarke, where are you taking her" Octavia's voice was weak, she tried to get up from the floor but her body was stiff from the cold and she lacked energy. The door was shut again leaving the remaining two prisoners in darkness once more.

Clarke was dragged up stairs and into an open market place. They took her across the frozen ground into a deep cave etched into the rock face. Clarke straight away felt the warmth as they entered. Fire torches lined the walls of a long hallway. at the end stood a rectangular room with a bonfire in its centre. The guards threw Clarke to the floor and walked away. As she tried to push herself up, the numbness in her hands protesting the movement.

"So Clarke what do you think of Azgeda?" for the second time in two days Clarke saw ontari walk around a fire to face her. The scared marking on her face seemed to stand out more here, as if they had been burned on and the cold made them more prominent. There were an estimated 100 people in the cave all looking down at Clarke. All with the same scarred faces and lifeless cold glares. While Clarke was taking in her surrounding ontari brought her foot up and connected it with the girls face. "you two help her up"

The two men lifted her up again and tied her to a pole that was next to the fire.

"so now Clarke, I've had word that the commander has called the armies to attack us...so i thought id be the one to tell you, your girlfriend has probably killed all of your people" it was said matter of factly and brought a sly smile to the new queens lips. "which means Lexa will most likely ride here. So i need to make sure she knows who is running things. And that she plays by my rules. Iam going to send her a little piece of you and say... well...be a good girl or you will receive more of Clarke" ontari looked so pleased and happy with herself. She was like a little kid playing a game.

Clarke didn't know what to feel. Her mind shutting down with all the information. Tears came to her eyes as she thought about all her people, but she wouldn't believe Lexa would kill them all. But the commander was coming for her, she felt guilty that Lexa was putting her above all 12 clans, above the collalition, but she was also secretly bursting with pride, admiration and hope. All her emotions were a mixed up mess, she wasn't thinking straight until she saw a glint flash by her face as ontari brought a knife up to her face. It shone in the glow of the flames.

"Trikru all get tattoos, a coward's way to show the clan they are from, but Azgedians we show courage in the scars we get on our faces. Now let's see what we can do about that pretty face of yours, hey. Wanheda should have her own scars, don't you think"

With these words ontari went to work on carving marks on Clarke face. She drew three arrows over wanhedas left eyebrow, the blood binding Clarke. She tried to not scream but the burning knife tearing through her skin was too much. Her screams echoed off the ice.

Ontari looked back to admire her work.

"Now we are going to mark you for all the people you have killed, a line for every soul, 300 for the burned warriors, then another 318 for mount weather. These people deserve to be on your back. After all Clarke it is tradition and your one of us now" they torn Clarke shirt off her leaving her back exposed. Other members of Azgeda used their knives to put little knicks in her skin. Each little blow more painful then the last. Her screams were getting higher, she was thrashing and cursing the participants. her pain seemed to be causing ontari much joy. After what felt like hours, but was in truth only 20 minuets or so, all the 618 marks were complete.

"now don't worry Clarke, heres the best part. The healing" as Clarke looked up she saw a hooded figure walking over to her. In their hand was a knife made of ice. "the scars as caused by frost bite, we burn you with fire, then seal it with ice." As the hooded figure walked around Clarke struggled against her restraints. Thrashing wildly but with no hope. Then as soon as she felt the sting of cold on her back she passed out instantly from the pain.

...

As the commander trekked high into the mountains, the air burning her skin, she couldn't get over the feeling that the trees had eyes. Their beliefs in Trikru were that the trees held the souls of their ancestors and the wind could speak to them, answering their prayers. But not here. These trees were not like hers, they were silent and foreboding. Offering no comfort or guidance. She could see the faint glow of fires higher up and knew they were getting close.

The Forrest went half the way up the side of one mountain before it broke into a clearing. Nestled in-between 3 other high peaks was a valley. The valley was really just a frozen lake, but the whole time the ice nation had lived here, the lake had never cracked so they considered it solid ground. All the people lived in caves around the lake, carved into the mountain. It was a work of art, but it was also a death trap for the untrained.

"the main living quarters of the queen is on the other side of the lake. We must cross the ice" the commander looked at her warriors, al seasoned in battle and fiercely loyal big men, but in this moment they all looked like frightened children. Trikru knew to fear frozen waters, and none of them including her were very good at walking across it.

"let me go first Heda, ill find a way across." Lexa held up her hand in response

"no, we will all go together." She spotted a few guards coming towards them patrolling the Forrest. "we must kill them and grab their clocks and boots. We must blend in. All ice nations subjects have fangs on the bottom of their boots to walk." On her orders the 4 of them killed the six patrolling guards and raided their gear. The cloaks were far warmer than the ones they had and the commander was right their shoes contained fangs.

Fortunate enough that it was dark and most of the people were in for the night as Trikru walking across the ice, even with the fangs was like a giraffe on roller-skates. Even the commander, who was light and agile on her feet, couldn't manage to stand or find her footing. This feat was angering her even more. She was half tempted to get out her sword and start hacking at the ice until it broke and then swim the remainder of the way.

It had taken much longer than anticipated and upon arrival at the other side all four of them were freezing, exhausted and full of hatred for the obstacle that the ice nation had constructed themselves around.

"Right, now they usually keep the prisoners in..." Lexa stopped mid sentence. She could hear screams vibrating through the cave. Her heart stopped and her vision went black and she nearly fainted. She knew the voice of Clarke, they were torturing her. All of her years of training to remain calm and level headed, through any situation immediately disappeared, the Heda exterior completely abolished. She was a frightened child hearing demons in the dark. Lexa ran at a full speed in the direction of the screams.

"commander, waiiitttttt" Lexa wasn't listening she couldn't think right now. She felt like all the ground around her was caving in under her feet, falling away to nothingness. She couldn't move fast enough. She didn't even notice herself draw her sword, it was all a blur. People were running away from her, but she cut them all down. Every person in her path. Her guards were right behind her, they too were killing all people. They came into a vast opening, the market place of the village. Without instruction but all thinking the same, they set the stalls closest to them on fire with the torches that were being used as lighting, it all igniting as if covered in petrol. Lexa was the beast again, instinct taking over. By now everyone was running away to safety. And Lexa could no longer hear the screams. She looked around desperately, her breath coming out ragged panic clear across her features. She could feel the strength of all the previous commanders coursing through her, their strength all that was keeping her going.

Tye grabbed the commanders arms and pulled her into the shadows as armed warriors ran into sight looking for the cause of the commotion.

...

They proceeded to brand Clarke after she passed out. Ontari wanted to make sure it was perfect, but then not long after the blonde passed out ontari heard screaming coming from the market.

"my queen, someone has set fire to the stalls"

"well go find out who it is." the queen didn't panic, not everyone was happy that ontari had become queen and she had expected some rebellion but no matter she would kill all those who opposed her. "hurry up with the branding" ontari sat down growing bored now there were no screams coming from the girl.

"all done my queen" the hooded figure bowed its head and retreated. Ontari looked up Clarkes back with delight. It was marked and scarred with the white marks of the ice nation. Her face was even more impressive, the three arrows marking her one of them for life. She cut off one of Clarke braids and handed it to her guard.

"take this to the commander, tell her i have Clarke, and if she doesn't comply with my requests i will start sending body parts."

"yes my queen"

" you two, take Clarke back to her cell. Find her a coat i can't having her dying just yet" with a wave of her hand ontari dismissed the room and left to go plan her war.

...

Hiding in the shadows Lexa could feel the heat of the fire around them. Guards were working to put out the fire while others were looking for the culprits. Questioning people, mentioning rebels. One small girl pointed to the main entrance saying she heard screams from there. The guards rushed off in pursuit.

As they left the commander turned to see two men leave a cave on the far side of the market and slung over one of their shoulders "Clarke" it was a whisper, a sacred word belonging to her lips. She went to jump up and run but was held down by all three of her escort. To do so was a death sentence, but all three were thinking the same thing.

"just wait commander, we will follow them in the shadows, see where they take her. They may lead us to indra as well"

Lexa took a deep breath, trying to suppress the urge to explode. Seeing Clarke slumped over, unconscious was too much for her to bear. All these years of shutting off her feelings, of acting like she didn't need to be loved, she had been lying to herself. She had been lonely, so shut off from the world. She never realised how fragile she was until she saw Clarkes lifeless body and knew she could be broken, she now knew her life was no longer in her hands or hers to control. It belonged to the blonde. Clarke had asked Lexa to not hurt her again but the truth was it was Lexa who needed to be protected from the hurt and this pain of feeling like glass was shredding her insides. All this emotion was making her body shake involuntarily.

After a time she calmed her self and they followed the men, keeping to the outskirts, trying to blend in. They took Clarke down steep steps, into what Lexa could only imagine was the dungeons. Knowing not to many guards would be keep down there as it was far too cold for any human, she dashed straight in ready for the kill.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke was viciously awoken from her blackout by a bucket of ice water being thrown over her head. Gasping, the sharpness of the cold air stinging her lungs, threatening to knock her out again . The guards tied her ankle up again and threw her a warmer coat.

"the queen wants to keep you alive so she can kill you at a later date. So try not to freeze to death, haha" the guards shut the door leaving Clarke lying on the floor, barley able to move from pain.

"CCCllaaarke" her name drifted though the air like a whisper so faint she thought she imagined it. It took her a moment to gather her bearing and remember Octavia and Indra.

"Octavia, you ok?" Clarke tried to sit up but screamed as her new wounds protested at being stretched.

"I am ssssoo coolld. Iiii cant feellll my bbbody" it came out in a shaking sigh. her teeth so longer chattering, her lips almost frozen shut. Clarke used every ounce of strength and will power she possessed and crawled on her stomach slowly over to Octavia. Careful to keep her back flat as to not anger her new wounds, she wrapped her body around the girl pulling the coat over the both of them. Octavia opened her eyes barley and looked into the broken sky of Clarkes. "whatttt happened to yoourr faceeee?" blood had dried over her features and mattered her hair.

Clarke brought her hand up to her left eye and traced over the new scars. They were deep. She could feel the shape of arrows running from her forehead to the top of her eye. She burst into tears, her body and mind having been through too much. The torture and the thought of all of arcadia dead, weighing down on her shoulders like an anchor. Octavia just held Clarke tighter not knowing what to say but knowing that for Clarke to tremble something bad had happened.

"clllaarrkkeee, yoouu arree strong. You must hold it together" indras voice was weaker than octavias.

"indra, try move closer, we can keep you warm."

"no, if i am too diieee thennnn soo be itt" even in death she was stubborn.

Then as if those were magic words the door to their cell burst open. All three women shut their eyes, the light from the flames to bright, from having been in complete darkess. The three of them accepted death in that moment all too weak to fight.

Clarke heard a soft thump next to her and then as if fire were touching her skin, a trail of flames ran over her new scars. Fingers ever so gently running over the marks, the sensation filling all her body with warmth. She opened her eyes and her breathing stopped. Black eyes of a wild beast were staring back at her, they held so much pain and suffering. It took Clarke a few momenst to realised who the eyes belonged to. The broken look of the girl she loved was breaking her to see, something had snapped in the older girl. Even after years of war and death, this was the first time the commander had felt it and all the suffering was showing on her face. She looked older, almost worn down in this moment. Lexa was slowly shaking her head, lost in Clarke eyes. She had forgotten to breath and then when her lungs were almost at bursting screaming for air she finally gave in and took in a breath.

"Clarke" Lexa brought her forehead to touch Clarkes. She was trying to soak in all of her at once. Needing to know she was ok."Clarke, iam sooo sorry" Lexa had her hand behind Clarke ear the other finger running aimlessly over her face.

"heyy. Shhh. I am ok" Clarke had shut her eyes again. Feeling waves of heat washing over her. Lexas skin like a personal fire.

"Commander, we must move fast." Lexa snapped too as if forgetting where there were and lost in the moment with Clarke. The commander untied the ankle chain on Clarke and Octavia and walked over to Indra.

"Indra"

"Heda, iaaam sorrrry i faileeed you" the Trikru leader could hardly open her eyes. Her limbs almost frozen in place.

"You didn't fail me. Clarke is alive. its ok. We are here now. We will take you back.."

"no. Iaamm too weakkk heda, i wiiill only slloow."

"no we all go"

"Commander, pllleeeassee. I aamm a waarriioor. I leaanrt how to diiee a loongg time ago. Honour me wiithh youurr blade." Indra opened her eyes, and Lexa saw all the fight had gone from her Trikru leader. The cold had settled deep in her bones and she was right. She would slow them down, Indra would never make it across the lake.

The commander thought back to her time as a child, she had known Indra her whole life almost. Indra had been the one to teach her how to make her own weapons from objects in their Forrest. Taught her about the different plants and their properties. She taught her how to be hard. They had eaten at the same fire many a nights. Shared stories. Losses and wins. Gustus had taught her to hunt and to tract and to skin, he was like a father to her. Anya taught her to lead, to command, to fight she had been like a sister and a friend she grew to confide in, but Indra taught Lexa how to survive. The mother she never knew. Indra had been there for her after costia, through every war. She was the last one left of her family. But the pleading look in indras eye, Lexa knew it was time to say goodbye.

"Be strongggg Heda. Yoouuu do deesserrve to Looove, again" indra stiffened her jaw and was ready for her final breath.

" _Yu gonplei ste odon."_ Lexa plunged her dagger into indras chest. Making sure to look her in the eyes. She saw a smile grace the leaders lips as her soul left her body.

"nnoo, iinnddraaa." Octavia crawled over tears in her eyes. She looked at the commander with hatred.

"it had to be done Octavia. Tye pick Octavia up we need to leave."

Clarke watched as Lexa rose from Indra. She could see every part of her breaking. She held the world on her shoulders and for once Clarke saw her shoulders hunched from the weight. Its broke Clarkes heart, she wanted to hold her, tell her she understood her pain, but Lexa had the face of heda on and she knew affection was only reserved for when they were alone.

Tye placed Octavia on his back, she was blue in the lips and Lexa almost thought they should leave her to. Merk then went to pick Clarke up, but the scream that left her lips was not human. Lexa felt it like a knife to her chest. It was her fault. She did this to Clarke.

"wanheda, i am sorry i just"

"its fine, lift me again, I am prepared for the pain this time" Clarke had a look of determination on her face. Lexa looked on in pride, She would not be the weak link here. She needed to get through this. She would not let ontari win. Dron helped Clarke onto merks back as the blonde bit through her own lip trying to stop herself from screaming out again. The salty taste filled her mouth. She looked over at Lexa who looked like she was feeling all the pain along with her. Clarke gave her a slight smile to reassure her that she was ok. It was going to be a long journey.

As they all went to leave, Lexa grabbed a fire torch from the wall and turn back inside the cell. She placed it on Indra, wanting to send her to the next life and not leave her to the ice nation. As the flames went up, Lexa thought to herself this is why commanders don't get close to their warriors. It wasn't that love was weakness it was that it hurt and leaders shouldn't feel pain.

As the party ascended the stairs, the market place was still amidst chaos. But there was no way they would be able to get across without being seen. Everyone was thinking the same thing, but then Clarke spotted something across the market.

"over there" she pointed to their right. The party looked and instantaneously an idea was created and acted upon.

The market place had live animals waiting to be killed for food. They were in cages not far from where they all currently stood. Dron and Lexa wasted no time in rushing over to the cages while the others waited in the shadows. With their swords they broke open the cages, sending pigs, dogs, deer, and other various animals loose into the market. On the way back they again set fire to more stalls, hoping the smoke would work as a screen in their escape.

The animals did exactly as they had hoped. Dron ran ahead to clear the path through the tunnel for them to leave. Octavia and tye went one way and clarke, lexa and merk went another trying to break up the group. With all the chaos they all made it across the market place with no problems. Through the tunnel, all the dead bodies from earlier were still strewn across the floor.

Clarke looked at all their lifeless faces and felt no sympathy or remorse for them. She had learnt these people were cold, and cruel. She hadn't realized but since arriving on the ground her tolerance to death had increased. She no longer viewed lives the same way. Death here was not so shocking. She was getting harder, more heartless.

At the end of the tunnel they found merk waiting with two horses. They were large war horses who were built for snow and ice.

"heda. You take Clarke, octavia and tye on the other. Dron and i will make out way across. We will meet you back at the camp." Lexa looked at her warriors, knowing if they were caught it would be certain death but also she needed to get clarke and herself out of Azgeda before they were seen. Without too much though she helped Clarke off the back of merk.

"clarke, its going to hurt to get on the horse but please we cant be heard." Lexa got onto the horse first and reached her arm to help clarke up. She did well and muffled her cries. She was seated in front of lexa who wrapped a strong protective arm around her. She learnt back into the commander, getting her breathing in rhythm with lexas. Then when she thought all was calm and she was safe an arrow flew past their heads.

Lexa turned the horse and saw armed warriors descending on them. Ontari at the head, in full combat gear. Lexa didnt wait to see if the others were ready she spun the horse and charged for the forest, needing the trees for cover. The horse was used to running on ice and had better footing than she ever did. An arrow came straight at them and buried itself into the commanders shoulder blade. She screamed but never slowed. Clarke was a terrible rider and going this fast she was almost slipping off the saddle. Lexa was trying to hold the reins and Clarke, and now with tremendous pain in her shoulder the feat wasn't easy. But for the sake of Clarke she endured.

Going through the forest, down the hill on ice was the most frightened Lexa had ever been riding a horse, not to mention the girl she loved crying out in pain on every step. Lexa knew the warriors would not stop at the end of the forest and her army would be a few days off. She made the decision to leave them all behind. All her warriors she brought with her and ride from the caves Trikru used as hunting cabins. They were only known to leaders of Trikru. It was the only place she though safe enough to await her armies.

...

...

When ontaris guards came and found her and told her of all the commotion in the market place a second time, she knew something was off. Even her people would not sabotage food. It was scarcest up here and even if they overthrew here animals were needed. She was then told of the deaths in the tunnel. Women and children were cut down. Azgedas never cut their children down. She grabbed her weapons and headed straight for the cells. As soon as she reached the stairs she knew it had been lexa. She could smell death in the air.

"how did this happen? How did they get in here?" she looked at her army. "are you all stupid. She was our leverage" the only way she knew how to handle any situation was with violence. She killed three men just for being the closest to her. "they cant have gone far"

They all ran towards the lake, the only way in or out of Azgeda and sure enough there she was. Heda. They attacked, but Lexa was quick and a good rider. Her warriors managed to capture the other horse and the four remaining people. The army started to chase the commander through the trees. One of their best warriors on the horse.

They followed her all the way past her encampment but the rider was shot down by her remaining men. But the ice nation army was bigger. They took all of the commanders men and watched as she left into the woods of her people.

" my queen, what should we do with these scum?" ontaris rage had calmed. The commander was without an army for now. Things had turned out better than expected.

"kill them all, put all their heads on spikes for the coming army to see. Leave half the army here, the other half..." an idea was forming in the queens mind, a new plan. "i think its time we go to visit pollis"

...

...

As the commander went out of her sight, she turned to watch all her remaining subjects be slaughter. One by one their heads were removed from their body.

They rode hard through the night, lexa knowing these lands well. They finally stopped when they came to a massive waterfall. The horse was hesitant about walking through the falling water as was Clarke but Lexa urged in on anyway.

On the other side of the water screen was a huge cave. It had rugs on the floors, animal skins covering the walls and fur beds staggered around the room. It was equipped with weapons and cooking utensils. Clarke was speechless.

"where are we?" Lexa dismounted the horse and helped Clarke down slowly.

"this is a hunting cave. We come here for long periods of time to get enough meat to survive the winters"

Clarke gazed around so evidently impressed but this civil cave. Lexa just stood back and watched her. "Clarke.." the blonde turned to face her. The beautiful blue so reassuring that she had made the right choice in choosing her over everyone. " I don't mean to disturb your train of thought but i think i require some medical attention" Clarkes eyes widen in fear.

"oh my god you were hit, why didn't you tell me. Why didn't you stop. Lexa you could of been killed" the girl shouted at the commander going into a panic.

"Clarke, please just"

"sit down over there" Clarke grabbed lexas dagger from her thigh and used it to cut open her shirt and remove it. The arrow wasn't in too deep. It always fascinated Clarke to look at the black blood, in a way it was beautiful. "ok this is going to hurt" Clarke grabbed the arrow with both hands and placed her foot on lexas back for leverage. Then she pulled it out and fell to the floor. Lexa was up and tending to her instantly.

"are you ok?" she looked worriedly at the blonde knowing how bad her back was.

" i just pulled a knife out of your back and your worried about me?" Clarke smiled, the green of Lexas eyes had returned. The whole world was burning at the moment and all for her to be able to look upon her Heda's eyes. She knew the lives that had paid for her to have this moment. She pulled Lexa down on top of her and kissed her with such force and passion a moan escaped from Lexas lips. Clarkes hands were on the commanders lower back, needing her to be as close as possible, their touching skin not nearly enough. Lexa's hand was running up the blondes thigh, stopping at her waist. Lexa couldn't stop, she wanted all of Clarke, all the sensation so overwhelming. She was fighting to keep control. Finally she pulled away.

Both girls gasping for breath lost in each other. Lexa smiled at the one thing she would fight for.

"we really need to clean our wounds before..." she stopped as a light blush came to her cheeks.

"oh so that's why you brought me here, you assume.."

"i assume nothing, i just..." Clarke brought Lexa back into another kiss and was smiling like a commander was so shy it was far to cute.

"let me fix your wound." She pushed Lexa off, who was still blushing. There were medical supplies, obviously if the hunters got attacked. She bandaged the commander up and went to clean her hands in the waterfall.

As she was walking back, Lexa was tying up the horse. She still had no shirt on and Clarke couldn't help but stare. The older girls body was toned. Clarke had never seen it from afar. She had scars all across her perfectly tanned skin. The contours of her body so inviting. All she wanted to do was run her hands all over her body. Kiss every scar and be forever lost in the allness that was Heda. Lexa turned around to see Clarke staring at her.

"is there a problem, wanheda?" a sly smile toyed at her lips. "come you should rest. You have been through a lot"

Lexa walked over to a bed of furs, Clarke sighed knowing Lexa would behave while she was till wounded, she reluctantly followed. They layed down with Clarke resting her head on lexas chest, their bodies fitting like a perfect jigsaw. "i am sorry about Indra"

"thank you Clarke." the words weren't needed but both had suffered a great loss. The lives that were lost for them. Clarke was so emotional tonight it was just all catching up again. Lexa had learnt to accept death years ago, but hearing Clarke cry, a few tears fell from her eyes as well.

"Lexa, what happened at arcaida.?" It was a question she didn't want to ask but knew it had to be asked.

"I told my ambassador to bring them all to pollis. They are alive, unless they fight. I had to get to you Clarke. I am sorry but you are more important than your people. The leaders may fight but the rest will submit." Clarke was silent for a long time, thinking it over. "are you angry with me?"

"no. I am just thinking how many more people are going to die for me."

"no Clarke. Azgeda would of attacked even without you. They needed to be made an example of. And i would of ended the coalition for you. You are mine now Clarke. I wont face this life without you."

Clarke looked up into lexas eyes and saw the truth and sincerity there. The girl who was never supposed to love, loved Clarke enough to start a war for her. "and you are mine, Heda" Clarke locked their lips again and both of them kept muttering cute nothings at each other until they fell asleep, lips touching, embracing each other.


	6. Chapter 6

Clarke awoke to the sound of the waterfall crashing down hard on the rocks, it was thrashing down stronger than last night. The air was damp and it had a feeling of rain about it. She had awoken alone and could not see Lexa anywhere in the cave. In an automatic panic she sat up way to fast. Her muscles had stiffened in the night and her body was in a far worse condition than when she had arrived. A scream left her mouth, filling the cave with an echo vibrating off the stone. Upon hearing the sound Lexa ran through the waterfall, sword drawn, thinking Clarke was in danger.

"Clarke, what's wrong, what happened?" she evaluated the situation in the room, looking rather confused at seeing no immediate danger.

"Where, were you? I woke up and you were gone. I was worried." She looked slightly scared and still worn out, not ready to left alone yet. Her voice sounding childlike.

"You screamed because you were worried, Clarke you can't do that, do you know what a scream represents...danger Clarke! Trouble. People will be out looking..."

"I screamed because I sat up to fast, stretching my new wounds." Clarke spoke defensively.

"oh" Lexa put her sword away and walked over to Clarke. "How is your back?"

"Hurts" Clarke would not let her guard down just yet and admit the actual pain of it. She was still upset to have awoken alone.

" I was out seeing if i could see the armies. I will need to meet them before they reach Azgeda" Lexa was keeping her distance. In the light of day she was unsure of what she and Clarke were. They hadn't discussed anything. This situation being very new to her. The commander walked over to the blonde and sat on the furs behind Clarke to examine her back. The scars were deep but there was no sign of infection. The marks were done well. Lexa lightly traced her fingers over them wishing she could take the pain away with her touch alone.

"mmm" Clarke sighed deep. "Lexa we also have another issue to address"

"yes?"

"I am still going to have to speak to my people. They will be arriving in Pollis, they won't be pleased. I must..'

"NO!" Lexa moved away from Clarke and stood again looking down at the other girl. Her face hard, her eyes ablaze. Clarke had never seen her look this angry before. "I just watched 20 of my warriors killed, all to protect you and keep you alive. If you think i am going to let you out of my sight again" she clenched her jaw a turned away. It was taking all her will power not to fully explode at Clarke. Anger boiling in her veins. She brought her hand to her head massaging her temple.

"Lexa I need to know if my mother.."

"I will send riders when my army arrives. Clarke i know you just want to do what's right for your people but i cant..." she turned back to look at the girl she was asking all her warriors to die for. "I know it's built in you to try fix everything, and its one of your many qualities I admire about you but Clarke, we are now at war with the ice nation and i can't have my mind distracted, worrying if your ok. I need to be the commander, I..."

"Hey...come here, please." Lexa walked over to Clarke and sat a little distance away. Clarke raised an eyebrow and gave her the look of 'really'. She sighed and shuffled closer to the blonde. Clarke reached for her and wrapped her arms around Lexa and drew them into a lying down position. She knew Lexa was hardly ever held and she could feel the older girl shaking trying to hold it all together. Clarke never realised how vulnerable Lexa really was and how much power Clarke really had over her. She gently ran her fingers in through her hair reassuring her. "I won't leave you Lexa." She felt her immediately relax. As much as Clarke wanted to help her people she knew the commander needed her more. This war would affect her people as well. Lexa moved her head up and perched herself on an elbow looking deep into the depths of Clarkes eyes.

"I...I" Lexa took a deep breath nerves taking over as she started to fumble her words. She looked away from Clarke trying to muster up courage. " I love you, Clarke" it was the first time either one of them had said the words. Lexa's ears were Turing pink and she couldn't meet Clarke eyes afraid of her response. Afraid that if she spoke the words it would all become real and someone would take it from her. afraid Clarke didn't feel the same or it was all to soon. Lexas heart rate was rapid, her breathing almost nonexistent. Clarke moved her hand to lexas face and directed it back to hers, looking deep into the soul of the commander. She saw past the hardened leader, past all the wars, the years of battle and shutting the world out. Clarke looked deep into the Forrest and saw a beautiful girl who shone like light through the trees, she saw the girl, Lexa really was behind the mask. The girl who loved Clarke just as she was.

"I love you, too" light sprung into lexas eyes and for the first time Clarke saw the commander smile, a smile that reached all the way to her eyes, making them crease at the corners. She looked youthful and wild in the moment as if a totally different person have entered the room. She locked her lips with Clarke, hungrily wanting more.

...

...

As ontari marched for Pollis her spirits her high. Her advisor rode next to her, instructing her on the best way into Pollis. They had once lived there and knew the place well. Her advisor was the hooded figure who had scarred Clarke back.

"ontari, for you to be able to get control over Pollis, you must win over the people. If they support you, they can help you hold the city against a siege. Once you are in the tower, you should call upon the ambassadors. They are not happy with Lexa, you could get another vote of no confidence"

"and then, what? Challenge the commander to single combat again? I am not fully confident I would win."

"you will not fight her. I will. With the people behind you, they will support me."

They had been riding for three days now and were not far from the city outskirts.

"i still don't know how you suppose i get the people behind me"

"by giving them what they want most"

"enough of these riddles. Tell me what i must do to get the city!" ontari's patience had run out.

"by killing all of those people." The advisor pointed in the direction to the west. Ontaris eyes followed the line of sight and her breath stopped. It was as if all then powers around her were working for her to become the new heda. Because there not to far off, walking to Pollis, were the members of Skai kru. All of them, marching in chains.

Ontari's face broke into a wicked smile as laughter escaped from her lips.

"you will bring Trikru justice. Her own clan will turn against her. Everyone will see how fair you are as a leader to bring justice to another clan. All the other clans will rally behind you"

"and then you kill Lexa?"

"yes and then I kill Lexa, but I also want another favour in return for killing the commander."

"name your price."

"I get to kill the sky princess as well."

...

...

Over the next few days in the cave, Clarke got to know Lexa, as she was and not as the commander. Every morning she would go out and see if the army was close. Then return to her and they would spend the day talking getting to know one another.

Clarke felt as if they were just two people getting to know each other, like the start of any normal relationship. Inside this cave it was just two kindred spirits, getting lost for hours in stories of the past. In here for even a small while the rest of the world didn't exist. Clarke felt selfish for pushing her thoughts of worry about her people from her mind but she didn't know if she would ever get time like this alone with Lexa again. So just decided to play pretend.

On the first day after they had told each other they loved the other, Lexa had gone hunting and returned with a stag slung over the back of the horse. As Clarke watched Lexa unload the meat and place it on the cutting stone to be skinned, she let herself imagine this was their life for now. Her strong warrior out hunting for their food with Clarke awaited them in their home. It was a nice thought.

As Clarke watched Lexa skin and gut the stag, she was amazed at how fast and skilled she was. She assumed as commander someone else would have done this job for her.

"Who taught you to do that?" Lexa looked over to Clarke and smiled. No one else whose hands were covered in blood with a knife in their hand could look quite so beautiful.

"Gustus taught me." Her smile was sad as she returned to her work.

"Lexa..."

"mmm"

"what happened to your parents?" Clarke had been curious and lexas past was all draped in secretcy as if she was just born fully grown and then just became the commander. This made Lexa stop her work all together and wipe her hands. She walked over to the rugs Clarke was sitting on and sat crossed legged in front of her. Her face taking a serious composure. She took Clarke hand in hers and started tracing circles. This very question seeming to be a key to a hidden part of lexa that no one ever got to see.

"When a nightblood child is found they are taken away from their families to go and train and learn in Pollis. I was four when i was taken to go train. I had been playing with my brother and tripped over and blood was drawn from my knee." She gave a slight smile like remembering herself as a clumsy child

"i remember my mother crying as they took me. She was so motherly. A beautiful woman. You would of liked her. She was so kind. My father her back when they came for me. He was chief of the village we lived in. He was a very ruthless leader. Our people looked up to him and respected him. When they discovered what i was, everyone congratulated him on having a nightblood child, like they expected it from him. He was very unloving, my father, not affectionate. The last time i saw him i was eight. Every 2 years your family is allowed to visit on your birthday. My mother was hugging and kissing me, crying all soft like a mother. My father pulled her off me and said if you lose the conclave our ancestors will not welcome you in the next life. You will disgrace this family and i will not claim you as my daughter. He walked off and i didn't see him again until my conclave." Clarke wanted to hold Lexa, she couldn't imagine a father being that way. Her whole life she hadn't known love, her mother wasn't even allowed to give it to her. Clarke when to reach for lexas face but she pulled away and shook her head.

"my mother was soft, he did the right thing. It made me fight harder. But part of our tradition is the initiates family is to come to the conclave and watch as their children fight to the death. It is mandatory they do so. The reason for this, the nightblood who wins, which in my conclave was me, their family is to be killed and burnt along with the fallen nightbloods." Lexa watched as Clarkes face went into shock. Her eyes held pain and remorse. "after i killed the seven others, my mother, father and brother stepped forward into the fighting pit. I then had to take the ceremonial knife and kill them all. I know it sounds wrong but it represents the clans becoming the commanders family.. Its a rite of passage into adulthood. We then burnt the other nightbloods with my family. I was 15." Lexa looked up from Clarkes hand into her eyes. Shock so evident it almost hurt Lexa as if she was reliving it again.

"I cried my first night as commander. High up in the tower in pollis. I wouldn't even let Costia in to see me. My first order as heda was no one was to see me." As lexa said Costias name she saw Clarke face change, even just slightly as anger flashed in her eyes as if she was jealous of the ghost of her ex. The small change in her face made Lexa smile.

"Why are you smiling, that was a really sad story" Clarkes fore head creased and she looked totally confused as if Lexa had told a joke she didn't understand. 

Lexa let out a laugh it was light and airy. One only Clarke could release from her lips. "Clarke, your face changed when i said Costias name.. see there it happened again" Lexas laugh started to fill the cave, this was all rather entertaining to her.

"my face did not change. " Clarke was getting defensive but couldn't fight the involuntary grin appearing on her lips. Lexa gave her a look like she knew she was lying. "Fine I don't like Costia"

"Clarke she.."

"I know, I know but she had you and got to know a whole other side to you. and I just... " Clarke brought her hands up to cover her face realising how stupid and childish she was sounding. She fell back onto the furs her face still hidden slightly shaking her head. Lexa couldn't stop smiling. The thought that Clarke was jealous at all was more than she could of ever hoped for. Lexa loved Clarke with ever fibre in her being and she had nothing to fear of anyone. She would always choose Clarke. She leant over the younger girl, prying open her hands so she could look at her face.

"the great wanheda, defeated by a ghost" Clarke pushed Lexa off

"shut up, this isn't funny" Lexa was on top of her again pinning her down.

"Clarke, Ill always chose you. no one else. I am yours. If i wasn't heda i would spend the rest of my days in this cave with you, building a life together, where its just the two of us and the sound of the waterfall" lexa brought Clarke into a kiss, that eliminated all of the blondes fears. Clarke couldn't help but smile, she wrapped her arms wound lexas back and flipped them so she was ontop of the commander, making lexa quirk an eyebrow.

"I guess ill always choose you then to" she said it sarcastically not wanting to give lexa the satisfaction that she won. The commanders smile was so contagious though that Clarke couldn't help but bring their lips together again and start undressing, wanting to do things to make lexa never think of costia again.

Breathless and lying in lexas arms, Clarke knew she had done her job. The moans that left the commander would of been heard for miles and it was lucky they were hidden far away in a cave. Clarke was running her finger over the older girls toned abs when a question popped into her head, one she wasn't sure she knew the answer to but felt compelled to ask. "Lexa, you know before when you said you'd like to build a life together in the cave just the two of us?"

"yes."

"do you ever... i mean do you just want it to be us two?"

"well yes Clarke. I don't really want to share this space with any of my warriors or your people for that matter. I do like privacy"

"no I don't mean with other people" Clarke sighed. She wasn't sure how to ask the question straight out or if she wanted an answer.

"I am sorry, Clarke but I don't think I understand" Clarke pressed her face into lexa side, as if trying to hide their.

"do you ever want children, Lexa?" she felt as the commanders breathing stopped for a moment, then returned more slowly. "I know as commander you shouldn't, and after the story today, and i mean i don't know if i do, and i know we just got together and i don't mean like now, its just a get to know the person question and i am sorry i never should of asked. It was stupid." Clarke ramblings were fast and jumbled. She couldn't hide her nerves and her heart was almost jumping out of her chest. Lexa moved Clarke away from her side and laid on top of her. Her hands on either side of the blondes face.

"How could I not want mini yous, Clarke" Clarkes breathing slowed and she saw hope in the greens forests hovering above her. "Once we have brought our people peace and their is no immediate danger to you, i think we can plan our future, Clarke. As grounders we have a bonding ceremony and rituals. Then in time we can discuss children. But for now i can't share you with anyone, even someone who looks like you. i want you to myself for a few years" Clarke was relived and upon hearing lexa speak the words she realised she wanted a life with lexa more than she knew. "i've told you about my parents, tell me about yours. Id love to hear about the sky"

As they spent the rest of the day with Clarke telling stories of her time in the sky lexa knew deep down she was going to win this upcoming war because of Clarke. Looking at her sky princess she saw the life she could have, she saw hope. For once in her life lexa was dreaming of a future of having the family that was taken from her.

On the third day Clarke awoke to Lexa putting on her war paint. "the amry is an hours ride way, we must leave"

Clarke looked around the cave sad to be leaving their little bubble. Watching as lexa turned herself into the commander the rest of the world came crashing back into her mind. Clarke dressed and went to stand by Lexa, wanting a moment with her before she knew they had to pretend these few days never happened. She kissed to commander with such force and desperation it came across as rough. It was returned by Lexa who felt the heart ache of having to go back to reality. Within a few minutes they were ready to leave. Clarke sat behind Lexa on the horse this time, and as they approached the waterfall she took a deep breath and put on her face as wanheda.

...

...


End file.
